Repost from 2014:
I don't write much about the "how to's" of parenting. Hardly anything at all, actually. I am often asked to, though, so I'd like to explain why I don't.
It's not cuz I don't have great kids. I do. I really do. And it's not cuz I don't have opinions about parenting. Goodness knows I do! I have opinions about everything!!! And freely share them most of the time, especially if asked!
But the reasons I don't write much about how to raise great kids are two-fold -
1. I'm not done yet so who knows if what I think really works. While it's true that the four littles that I birthed have so far turned out to be wonderful, they have a lot of life to go and who's to say it'll always be this way. More importantly, if they DO continue to be as fabulous as they are now, who on earth could think it's because of what I've done??? I often say (and I believe it with all my heart) that God knew I was too stupid to raise bad kids so He figured He'd best give me good ones. Seriously. I know plenty of folks I consider stellar parents and, in spite of all they have done, they have a kid or two that breaks their hearts, at least for a time period. And, conversely, I know plenty of parents that have done what seems by all accounts to be a rotten job and their offspring turn out to be absolutely amazing. Go figure. I just know that God has been awfully kind to me and that so far, my kids have appropriated His grace in their lives and they make me really really really thankful and proud. But take credit for them? Not on your life. Maybe, if one day every single one of my children AND my grandchildren are on the mission field, I'll figure something I did "worked". Nah, not even then. It will most likely be because my husband is wise and patient and kind....and our own parents prayed for our kids like crazy. They knew what airheads were raising them!
2..The second reason I don't publicize a lot of parenting tips is cuz I have a different idea about why God gives us kids, and what He expects from this journey. I don't think the goal of parenting is to raise great kids. Instead, I think what He wants to accomplish through parenting is to turn the parents into His wholehearted disciples. Raising the kids is what He uses to get us there.
Yep, I think that parenting is more about what He wants to do IN us parents than THROUGH us. Being a parent is a big - if perhaps not the biggest - opportunity to see our need for His grace in our own lives.
So today's Wednesday's Word is Luke 6:40 -
A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.
Are you a parent? Then you might be like most other parents in that you want a formula, some sort of guarantee on this parenting thing. That explains the myriad of books and conferences and seminars on "how to do it right". We all want to not only raise great kids but especially avoid the pain of not doing so.
But I am afraid there is no such formula.
My suggestion for us all is to concentrate on getting ourselves to the place where we are worthy of imitation.
Amen.
Cross references: