It's not your fault...but you can fix it

Are you in conflict with someone right now?


Maybe it's your teenager.  Or your co-worker.  Somebody at church or in the neighborhood.


Maybe it's your spouse.


Ask yourself some questions about that...


What bothers you about that person?
What is the source of the angst between you?
What would you like to change about this relationship/that person?
Do you think things can get better?


This isn't a post about changing the other person to make this better.
And it's not a post about changing yourself.


This is a post about the problem.

I continually surprise myself at how easily I get distracted from the real problem.  How quickly I can slip into thinking that my relational concerns are the rooted in someone's quirks or issues or even their sin...or my own.


Those are not the root but rather the leaves and branches of the conflict.


Ephesians 6:12 spells out the problem clearly - For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.


The root of the conflict between you and your child, you and your neighbor, you and your spouse is not the other person.  And it's not you.  It's not any person - it's spiritual.


The spiritual forces of evil that wage war in the heavenly places against the saints.
It's not a sci-fi movie - it's real.


The unseen powers of wickedness that temporarily rule over this world are the cause for the problems in your relationship.  The source for the conflicts that torment us.  That's the enemy.  That's who we need to battle...not the other person.


How easily we are deceived into blaming someone for the tension, the separation, the pain that exists in our relationships.  We battle the pride and selfishness and anger and greed of our friend, our child, our spouse...and ourselves.


And we keep losing.
The conflict persists.  Intensifies.  Breaks us apart.


Because we're fighting the wrong combatant!


We don't have to lose this war.  We don't have to experience the casualties of conflict. But we do have to fight. 


The right hostile forces.
With the right weapons.


For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
2 Corinthians 10:4

Spiritual forces cannot be defeated with fleshly weapons.
Arguing, pleading, manipulating, even counseling are insufficient (sometimes even more destructive) in our struggle against them.
We need divine power.


The weapons God has divinely equipped us with are found in Ephesians 6. Verses 17, 18 - the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 


Two weapons.  Divinely powered to destroy the real enemy in our relationships.
Prayer and God's Word.


No substitutes will effect the change we want, the peace we desire, the blessings we seek.


Take a moment.  Ponder that relationship that is in such strife. 
It's not their fault.  Or yours.
But you can fix it.


Pray.
Pray God's Word over the problem.  Into the conflict.  Unto victory.


(Suggested resources - Stormie Omartian's books - The Power of  a Praying Woman, The Power of a Praying Wife, The Power of a Praying Parent ; Beth Moore's Praying God's Word )

About that rainbow....

I saw a rainbow the other day.  I just love rainbows!  I love thinking about the promise they represent, of God's mercy in light of His rightful judgment on us. What a glorious reminder of His eternal covenant with His people!

When I was writing the Bible study on Heaven a few years ago, I learned something about rainbows that made them even more significant to me.  This truth from God's Word is beyond exciting, y 'all.  Whenever I teach about it, I am pretty much overwhelmed with delight.  God truly is above and beyond what we can imagine! 

Let me share with you what He taught me about rainbows...

Revelation 4:2,3 tells us Immediately I was in the Spirit and behold a throne was standing in Heaven and One sitting on the throne, and He who was sitting was like a jasper stone and a sardius in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, like an emerald in appearance.

There is way too much in this passage to cover in one post (you can download the Bible study from this site, and listen to the audio series if you want more info) so we are just going to laser in on the phrase "and there was a rainbow around the throne".  Just in that phrase, God gives us a boat load of precious truth!

First, the back-story...

A rainbow was the sign that God gave the world after He flooded the earth in judgment that He would never again destroy all flesh with water. Many of us are familiar with the story of Noah from the book of Genesis (9:9-17)

 9 “Behold, I establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you,10 and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the livestock, and every beast of the earth with you, as many as came out of the ark; it is for every beast of the earth. 11 I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.” 12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: 13 I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” 17 God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth.”

A rainbow is formed when light shines through a prism. The light of His holiness and judgment shining through the prism of mercy and love...a rainbow. So every time we see a rainbow, we are reminded of God's promise of mercy, of the beautiful symbol of His covenant with us.  From earth, we see the rainbow as a half-arc, stretching from one side of the horizon to the other.

Beautiful, yes...but only half.  In this life, we cannot see what we will see in Heaven - that rainbow will be complete! The rainbow will go all around His Throne! Here, we see in part, but One Day we shall see fully - that rainbow will be a circle because His promise will be complete!

The full circle rainbow around His Throne will be the result of the light of God's Holiness being filtered through the prism of the Cross.  Without the Cross, there could be no rainbow...we would all be destroyed by His righteous judgment. But the Cross is the prism of mercy that diffuses His judgment against us, surrounding His Throne...mercy triumphs over judgment...and in Heaven, it will be complete! In Heaven, His mercy is eternally and fully displayed...the rainbow surrounding His Throne.

 Because of His great mercy, in this life, we can approach His Throne confidently (even boldly!) in prayer, knowing we will not destroyed or even ignored but rather received with joy and assurance. That rainbow we see here on earth - even as a half-arc - reminds us of that great and glorious promise.

But One Day, when this life is over, we will be able to stand before His Throne, to see Him face to face, worshiping, unafraid of His judgment, rejoicing! The circle of His promise will be complete. Mercy wins. The rainbow shines forever!

God's trying to teach me something - or not

So many times I have heard "God's trying to teach me something."  So many times I have said it.

I have realized it's wrong.  Here's why:

First of all, God doesn't need to "try" anything.  He "does" stuff, He doesn't "try" it. 

But that's not my main problem with the phrase.  It's really an issue with the concept that God is "teaching us a lesson".  Think about how else we use that phrase  - "I decided to teach him a lesson" or "I taught her a lesson she'll never forget".  Not a positive tone.

  When we use that phrase, most likely we are going through a difficulty and we try and explain it by "God's trying to teach me something".  The assumption is that we are somehow deficient and God is getting us up to par by sending us through pain and suffering.  Maybe we don't intend to portray Him that way, but this phrase makes Him sound like a stern schoolmaster, leaning up against the wall, paddle in hand, watching a subordinate struggle. 

God's not like that.

At all.

When His children are hurting - in small ways or in big ones - He isn't distant or passive. He isn't waiting on us to figure out the lesson so that He can move us on.  He's in the thing with us, holding us - not teaching us some lesson but rather revealing His love and grace and power and truth to us.

Yes, He often allows - even orchestrates - circumstances for His children that we probably wouldn't have chosen for ourselves.  But He's not "trying to teach us a lesson".  He's offering us...Himself.

Nest time we're struggling or enduring pain or in the midst of a problem, let's abandon the idea that this adversity is "God teaching us a lesson".  Instead, let's remember that He wants this to be an opportunity for us to see Him for who He is, full of grace and truth, extending mercy and love and power to help us in our need.

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15,16

"It's all grace" - what does that mean, anyway?

Grace.


Amazing grace. How sweet the sound.


Truly.


But what is it, really, and what have we done to it?


Perhaps grace is hard to define. We try and explain it, but we can hardly understand it. So we come up with ways to help us comprehend.

God's unmerited favor.
His Love.
God's Riches At Christ's Expense.
Unconditional love.


All these definitions are true. Thank God!


We cannot earn His favor. He is far more gracious than we can fathom. Far more merciful and kind and generous than anyone can ever deserve.


But I don't think that "mercy" and "forgiveness" are all there is to grace. I often hear Christ-followers excuse their behavior with "grace". And while I don't want to go back to the era of legalism that I went through (which brought not only judgment of others but especially of my own self), I fear that we are in danger of trampling upon the truth of what God's grace is.


We humans tend to such extremes. We either lean waaaaaaay far in the direction of self-sufficiency, as though we can somehow muster up enough good deeds or omit enough bad deeds that we impress God....or we camp out in the land of "it doesn't matter how I live, it's all grace anyway".


Both miss the mark of what grace is.


Yes, grace is unmerited. And absolutely there is nothing too awful to be redeemed by grace. Nothing. But let's take a look at grace to better understand what it is and how God grants it....


My favorite apologist, John Piper defines grace as " the supernatural power of God regenerating us and opening our blind eyes so that we can see Christ for who he really is." Amen.

And when we see Him, I John 3:2 tells us that we shall be like Him! Grace enables us to see the treasure of Christ, to desire Him above all this world has to offer,...and the same power that opens our eyes to that glorious truth also transforms us. Empowers us to obey Him.


So, it is the mercy of God that is willing to withhold from us the punishment we deserve and it is His grace that gives us far more than we could ever earn...but that grace includes our transformation. The power to obey Him. Yes, He lavishes acceptance and blessing and favor --- grace -- upon His people but He tells us that there is more to grace. It's not a public drinking fountain that we can visit from time to time and wash off our guilt or request special treatment.






Humility is a condition of receiving this grace. James 4:4-6 clearly explains not only that God gives grace to the humble but also that cozying up to the world puts us in opposition to God. He gives grace so that we might live according to His Spirit within us.
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
So, you might say, that says there is a condition to receiving grace! I thought God's love was unconditional! Do I have to earn it?
The grace that causes us to be chosen of God before the foundations of the earth - that is completely unconditional. We weren't even around when God us and foreordained that we would be His. He is not responding to our good behavior or our desirability in His choosing us.
But there is grace that is conditional, where He does respond to our behavior - Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (1 Peter 5:5). God responds to humility with more grace - grace that transforms us by enabling us to obey His commands.


Let me explain a bit further -
Philippians 2:12,13 says - work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure
Yes, the work of transformation that please God is a result of His working within us...but that does not lessen our responsibility to cooperate with His power and obey His Word - to work out our salvation (not work for it, but work it out from the inside of our spirit to the outside of our soul and body)


Piper puts it this way:


I can flip a switch, but I don’t provide the electricity. I can turn on a faucet, but I can’t make the water flow. There will be no light and no liquid refreshment without someone else providing it.
And so it is, in a limited sense, for the Christian with the ongoing grace of God. His grace is essential for our spiritual lives, but we don’t control the supply. We can’t make the grace flow, but God has given us circuits to connect and pipes to open in case it’s there.
Our God is lavish in his grace, often liberally dispensing his favor without even the least bit of cooperation and preparation on our part. But he also has his regular channels. And we can routinely avail ourselves of these revealed paths of blessing, or neglect them to our detriment.


We can “fight to walk in the paths where he has promised his blessings” (John Piper, When I Don’t Desire God, 43–44


What, then, are these paths? What are the means of availing ourselves of His grace?


Basic, everyday, seemingly unglamorous Christianity - sometimes referred to as "spiritual disciplines" -
Persevering in prayer
Consistent time in His Word
Loving the fellowship of His People
Obeying what He says in His Word


My husband calls it "the blocking and tackling of following Christ".

We put ourselves in the paths of blessing, the place to receive God's favor, the avenue that takes us to a life changed into one of joy and peace and significance when we obey Him. When we respond to His commands with the humility that sees our inability to obey Him and we cry out for His enabling power - His grace.


I exhort us all, dear sisters, not to trample upon His precious grace by thinking we can live anyway our flesh desires and then just continually confess and repeat. Let us not think we can expect the grace of His blessings if we don't go where He says the blessings are to be found.