A few weeks ago, I had the delightful privilege of sharing my heart with some young Moms a few counties away. This was an impressive group of women; I am glad for the chance to rub elbows with them.
I want to tell you what I shared with them - the three things that I think are most important to train our kids in. Three things that will be critical to their success in this world. Three things that will enable them to be truly happy, confident, difference-makers.
Here’s what I said:
Be kind. Seriously. We must teach our children to be kind. The world is often mean and rude and ruthless.If we want our kids to be difference-makers, then we have to equip them to be different. And being kind is the best way to be just that.
What is kindness? Scripture puts it this way: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32) Kindness is treating one another with empathy and understanding (tenderhearted) and not taking revenge when we’ve been wronged (forgiveness).
The world needs kind people. It truly does. Kindness can change a situation, and even a life. Kindness is powerful.
But kindness doesn’t only change the recipient of our kindness - being kind changes us. Kind people, those folks who are empathetic and who don’t hold grudges, are happier than those who aren’t. Treating others kindly shapes us in a wonderful way. Indeed, kindness is powerful.
Serve cheerfully. Notice I didn’t just say “teach your kids to serve” - we need to train them to serve cheerfully! Big difference! Mark 10:45 tells us that Jesus prioritizes serving, that He did not come to be served but to serve.
The business world has discovered this truth and consequently we hear alot at leadership seminars about “servant-leadership”. Serving others is most surely a key to living successfully. But it’s not a natural tendency. We have to teach our children to serve; we have to give them opportunities to serve. We have to expect them to serve, starting in our own homes. And we must train them to accompany that service with cheerfulness. Serving grudgingly is not effective at all. Serving with a cheerful heart is potent.
Perseverance. This is perhaps the most important lesson our children (and ourselves!) can learn. Resilience, not giving up after failure, enduring through tough times - the most critical factor for a successful life. Not intelligence, not talent, not personality, not athleticism, and not “positive affirmation” - perseverance is what contributes most to a person’s confidence, satisfaction, and ultimate success. The ability to keep going and not giving up. Hebrews 10:36 stresses its importance - For you have need of endurance, that after you have done the will of God, you may receive what is promised.
Perseverance. We have to train our kids to get back up when they fall and to try again. To keep on trying and to try a different approach when necessary. So how do we do that? We let them struggle to learn a new skill. We let them fail and figure out how to adjust. We do not insulate them from pain and conflict and disappointment. Yes,we stand right there by them and comfort them and guide them and hurt with them. But we do not bubble wrap their world in an attempt to make their lives easier than ours. Let them wrestle with a problem. Let them face difficulties. Let them experience defeat. And help them figure out that they can persevere.