Raising kids who are strong

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9


As a parent, this is surely one of my most loved verses. I want my children (and myself!) to be bold, confident, resilient, brave. And I know that God wants that, too. He spoke this directive to Joshua as he prepared to take over command of the Israelites from Moses. Moses earlier had exhorted the people with these same words, repeated them to Joshua, and then the Lord Himself said it twice in 9 short verses. I think we are supposed to heed this - be strong and have courage.


I cling to this verse in parenting on at least two levels - one, to address my own fears and inadequacies (of which there are many!) and two, to encourage my children to be strong. Not strength as the world offers (which is usually false bravado and an attempt to mask insecurities). Not a foolhardy ignorance of danger or reality. But strong in the Lord. Mighty in spirit. Not afraid. Not fragile. Able to withstand difficulties and persecution and disappointment. And to withstand it well.


What does it mean to be strong, to be mighty in spirit? And how can we develop this in our children? And in ourselves! Let's unpack that verse and see...First, the context. The Israelites are about to begin the conquest of Canaan, the land God had promised to them. They had been redeemed from the slavery of Egypt and were on the brink of possessing the blessing of the rest of that redemption. But it was obviously not going to be a walk in the park. There were geographical challenges (large bodies of water to cross and a desert to endure) not to mention the fact that the land was already occupied and possessing it would require displacing those who were there.


Plenty of reason for fear for sure


Yet God repeatedly instructs them not to. How is that possible? Were they (and are we) just supposed to deny reality, stuff down our feelings and march stoically off into the unknown?


Not at all.


The keys to a life of courage, of living without fear or discouragement or dismay, are found right there in the text. Let's see what they are...


The first keys I see that God provided for the Israelites are the same ones He makes available to His people today. Sandwiched in between His two commands not to fear...verses 7 & 8, we see


being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success[a] wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success


1. Obedience to His commands
2. Consistent meditation on His Word


So, if we want to be strong and courageous, if we want to grow kids that are mighty in spirit, we must know that the foundation to those qualities is to obey what He says to do and to feast ourselves continually on His Word.


And the other keys I see to "fearing not" are found in the definitions of those Hebrew words - "be strong" and "courage". The word that we translate as "strong" is a word that the Hebrews used frequently for construction, for building. Its meaning is deeper than "strong" - it carries with it the idea of being attached firmly to something, to be held fast, preserved. Hmmm, sounds like God is explaining to us here that our strength comes from holding fast to Him, being bound tightly to His Word. Oh yes!
And the word for courage is equally as rich. It means more than just being brave - it conveys the idea of wisdom and virtue and excellence. SO, "courage" is more than an attitude - it is also action of righteousness!


As I have prayed for my kids through the years to be mighty in Spirit, God has consistently laid out practical ways to cultivate this attribute. Encourage obedience to HIM, not merely to parents. (That is the basis of obeying all authority!) Memorize and meditate on His Word. Talk about His Word all through the day....all through our lives. Exhort one another to hold fast to His truth, particularly in dark times, when the light is hard to see. And sow seeds of righteousness. Over and over and over. Do the right thing. Do the kind thing, the faithful thing, the generous thing, the gracious thing, the joyful thing, the loving thing, the forgiving thing. Over and over and over.


There are plenty of things in life to be afraid of. Plenty of things that seem to threaten our security and our well-being. But God wants His kids to face them all with confidence and courage.

And He provides the keys for us to do so.


Will we take Him at His Word?

When to be violent

Let’s just admit it. Some Scripture verses are hard to understand. They require grappling with, meditating on, and pensive prayer. Our tendency can be to pretty much skip over them and focus instead on those that bring comfort and encouragement. To me, Matthew 11:12 is one such verse.

And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of God suffers violence and violent men take it by force.

There are a couple of different ways that verse is explained. One (which may very well be the most popular) is that we can expect the world to respond to the kingdom of God with opposition and hostility. While that viewpoint is not untrue, I don’t think that is what Jesus is telling us here. The context is that John is in prison, about to be executed for speaking the truth about sin and holiness. Certainly that is hostility and opposition! But the particular details of this discourse are key. While John is facing this painful and frightening trial, his soul is apparently in anguish. He sends word to Jesus asking in verse 3 Are you the Expected One or shall we look for someone else?

Jesus’s response is beautiful. I encourage you to read it for yourself in verses 4-6. Spoiler alert: He sends word back to John - yes I am!

But Jesus continues speaking to those around Him, praising John the Baptist for his courage, faithfulness, and toughness. And utters those words recorded in verse 12, that verse about violence. We usually think of Jesus as peaceful, some even call Him a pacificist. We point to His calm response to the argumentative Pharisees. His silence before His accusers. Especially His rebuke of Peter when he cut off the ear of the soldier coming to arrest Jesus. Yet here He is, praising violence. WHAT????

Jesus is indeed advocating violence - against ourselves. Not self-mutilation but rather denying our flesh. Sometimes it is called “self-mortification”, referring to the need to put to death the desires of our flesh. Jesus is telling us that we are going to face opposition - and the culprit is not external but rather internal. Even the bold, faithful, fearless John went through a dark place where he questioned God. A struggle where he wondered what God was doing in his life. A time when he puzzled if he had been duped into believing the goodness and faithfulness of God. Even John the Baptist. And Jesus didn’t rebuke him but instead comforted and assured him. And He tells us we are going to face the same fight. Faithfulness in following Christ will require spiritual violence. In order to walk in victory, we must be prepared to fight our own self with such force that we can overcome our natural tendencies and submit to the will of God.

How are we to be violent? By the grace of God. Not by mustering up our own energy but by looking to the power of Christ. That is why one of the ninefold manifestations of the Spirit of God in us is “self-control”. Because that fight is real! The other ways the Spirit bears fruit (love, joy, patience, and the like) seem lovely and desirable - but Jesus reminds us that the fight is real. And we need His Spirit to control our crucified self. And to fight that good fight will oftentimes be really really hard. Even violent. The opposition from the hostile world certainly piles it on, as well. But by looking to Jesus and what He has for us, the power of those sinful desires (for comfort, recognition, control, success, etc) is broken. It will require much of us but the reward of His fellowship and favor is sweet indeed.

Diligence, approval, accuracy

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a worker who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

A few weeks ago, I was afforded the joy and privilege of sharing a message with some really awesome college students. These “kids” are spending their summer spreading the good news of Jesus Christ. Makes ya feel better about the future of the world, doesn’t it? A group of young adults who want to invest themselves in eternal things. That is some encouraging news right there! And before they headed out, another pretty awesome young man who leads the missions ministry at my church spent a lot of time equipping them to do what God has called them to do. I got to be part of that equipping. I am so very grateful!

I was asked to lead a session on “how to study God’s Word”. Best. Job. Ever! I don’t know what those college students got out of it but I had a blast. Preparing, practicing, presenting - it was all fun to me. The challenge for me with this subject is what to cut. (I guess I wasn’t surprised they could only give me an hour and 15 minutes but I could’ve used 3 days LOL!!!!)

So I covered what I could - mainly the “HOW”. That is glorious stuff and it is always good to remind myself of the principles and the process. I hope I get to teach that again soon.

But I found myself wishing I could’ve also shared the “WHY” of studying God’s Word. That is so precious to me. Rich truth. Transformative. Since I didn’t have time to tell them all this, I am sharing it with you. Because I just gotta get it all out :) Tks for reading.

Why should we study God’s Word? Isn’t it sufficient to read it most every day and listen to sermons at least on Sundays? Well, those are important for sure but we miss a real blessing if we don’t learn how, and then practice what we learn, to study God’s Word. The best synopsis of the “WHY” is found in 2 Timothy 2:15. Let’s unpack it together.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a worker who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth

Be diligent - some translations say “study” here but I think “be diligent” better expresses what the Apostle Paul is instructing young Timothy…and us. To be diligent requires purpose, intentionality. Diligence as opposed to laziness or apathy. Studying God’s Word will cost us time and ease. It will stretch us, bring us to a place of initial frustration (and then unique joy when the light eventually breaks through!) Diligence also implies discipline, not haphazard effort. The “WHY” begins with diligence.

To present yourself approved - “approved” is the Greek word dokimos.This word that we translate “approved” does not mean that we work to get favor from God. It is not contradicting all the rest of Scripture and implying that we can earn salvation or right standing with God. This word came from the world of finance and is the key to understanding the verse.  All money was coinage in those days and was originally valued by weight.  Dishonest money-changers would shave some of the metal from the coins they handled, making them worth a little less than their face value. The little bit shaved from each coin was a hidden profit that over time could be used to make additional coins that cost them nothing. But some money changers were men of integrity, who would neither accept nor distribute lightweight coins; they were men of honor who put only genuine, full-weight money into circulation. These men were called dokimos. They were approved because they correctly handled the money entrusted to them. (Donald Grey Barnhouse, Romans: God’s Glory, p. 18.)

The apostle is telling us to study so as to understand - and be able to deliver - the full weight of God’s Word. To be a “dokimos”, a teacher of integrity who is able and willing to teach the truth, even when it is hard. To not leave out some parts that feel uncomfortable. To be a “dokimos” means we don’t learn or teach to please men but rather to please God. That way, we won’t be ashamed - we won’t shortchange or compromise the truth of God’s Word.

Rightly dividing - or handling accurately - the word of truth. The Greek word here is orthotomeo which literally means to make a straight and accurate cut. Some people have misinterpreted this as meaning to divide God’s word into parts but that particular meaning would have required a different word - diaireo. Orthotomeo was used by carpenters (to make a straight and accurate cut) or by civil engineers to convey that roads they were building went from one place to another by the shortest possible route. Or a farmer might use this word to describe plowing a field, seeking to cut straight furrows to plant rows of seed, looking at a point on the other side of the field and focusing on that point to ensure the line cut in the dirt was straight. Great imagery to help us understand what is being communicated here. When used metaphorically, the word means to proceed on straight paths, hold a straight course, equivalent to doing right. Elsewhere in Scripture, this word appears in Proverbs 3:6 -In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight (Orthotomeo).  By using this word Paul was instructing Timothy to preach God’s word accurately, correctly, and with precision. To cut through all obstacles and get the word from the page to the hearts of God’s people (including our own heart!)

That is how I understand the “WHY”. Diligence gets us to the accuracy which enables us to be trustworthy - approval. Reading God’s Word is fine and of course it is better to “just read” than nothing at all. But the riches come from the studying. From the diligence. The development of spiritual integrity and courage. Approval.

In times of uncertainty....

And do when they had come together, they were asking Him, saying, “Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom to Israel?” He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His authority, but you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you shall be My witnesses, both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” Acts 1:6-8

Very familiar passage. Jesus had just died and been resurrected. The reality of Him was increasingly resonating with them. He appeared to not only His disciples, but also hundreds of His followers over a period of 40 days. Things had really seemed dark and dismal for a while but now the disciples were hopeful things had taken a dramatic turn for the better. I can track with their thinking that certainly the tough times for God’s people were over and Jesus was ready to fulfill all those prophecies they had been waiting for. Surely the Kingdom of God was in effect - and they were poised to rule with King Jesus! If this had been a national championship, the t-shirts were already printed and ready to be distributed!

They just needed a “go” from Christ….

But that’s not what they got.

Instead of nodding affirming assurances to their question about timing of the Kingdom, Jesus responds strangely. Actually feels abrupt.

He not only says “no, it’s not now” - He also says “and you don’t get to know when it will happen, either”. They were plunged into uncertainty. Deliberate uncertainty.

Scripture doesn’t record the response of His disciples to this. Maybe by now they had learned to expect the unexpected from Jesus but I have to believe there was at least a gasp or two. Surely they had to feel a little emotional whiplash at the ups and downs they had experienced over these six weeks!

Although we are not told the flow of the conversation, it doesn’t appear that Jesus left them in the state of perplexity for long. While He doesn’t give them the answer they were looking for, He gives them something better. He tells them that they don’t need to know what and when and how anything is going to unfold because He is giving them power. The Holy Spirit. Power to live in the uncertainty. Power to be sustained. Power to have confidence and peace without knowing all the answers.

Jesus not only gives them power in uncertainty - He gives them a mission. To be His witnesses all over the earth. He doesn’t tell them how they will accomplish it - He just tells them to do it and He supplies the power. Power to not only live in the uncertainty but also to be fruitful and victorious.

And we know the rest of the story. We are living proof that they carried out His mission. And the baton has been passed from that generation of Christ-followers to the next. All through the ages. And, Lord willing, that will continue until the Father tells Jesus it is time to get His Bride:)

As I read those verses and put myself in the mindset of the disciples, I was struck by how much I am like their question in verse 6. More often than not, I find myself acting like a child facing an unknown event or schedule. I ask questions (and not just of the Lord!!) like what time, where, how, who, what do I need to do. And I do it over and over again, just to be sure I get it. I really really really like knowing what I am about to face before I face it! I am seeking comfort and security in knowing what to expect and what will be expected of me. In times of uncertainty - whether it’s plans for a family trip or teaching schedule or who’s coming for dinner or the results of medical tests - I feel unsettled until I know some answers.

I felt the Lord speaking to me in the rest of that passage, telling me that I can live in the uncertainty - of small things AND of big things - because I don’t need the answers. I need JESUS. And He is available to me all the time because He gives me His Holy Spirit. I can trust that I will have the strength and wisdom and confidence I need for whatever may come because He has promised me POWER. The power to live victoriously in the uncertainty. The power of the Holy Spirit.

And this power He gives is not just for my peace (although that is a humongous part of it!) but also for my participation in His mission. I won’t have to stumble along in fear and confusion - He will guide me into the places He wants me so His Kingdom will be furthered. It’s all bigger than “me” - it’s about HIS plans, not mine. And there is no need for me to know the details of those plans in advance.

So, I may still pester my people to give me an ETA for holiday dinner, but I am more content to live in the uncertainty of life. To seek to be filled - controlled and directed - by the Holy Spirit more than I seek the answers for the details of the unknowns.