This morning I get to hang out with some of my most favorite women. A group of ladies who have allowed me the privilege of studying His Word together with them for quite some time. I refer to them as “my young Moms group” because to me, they are young! But as I check reality, it dawns on me that they are navigating teen-hood more than toddler-hood. And I gulp.
My friends and I are going to talk about parenting - isn’t that a popular topic for Moms? :) At many points in my parenting, I have longed for an instruction manual, the “right” book that could help me do the very best for the people I loved more than life itself. And I found some good ones. Dr. James Dobson pretty much raised my kids, as much as I relied on his writings for advice. (I am very thankful that I went to a wise source for help!) But I often wished that God had given us more parenting info in His Word. I mean, really, wouldn’t it have been so very helpful to have been able to turn to Gabriel 2:5 for the best way to potty train? Or Hezekiah 1:9 for education specifics? And somewhere for a Biblical 911 on disobedient teens? Sounds good, doesn’t it?
But those references don’t exist. At least not in that way. Through the years, though, I discovered that the Bible was indeed the greatest treatise that exists on parenting. I just needed an “aha” moment that my kids were…people. Yep. Great revelation, right? My kids are people. Being a parent doesn’t change that at all and God gives us a wealth of information on how to treat people, how to build relationships, how to correct people, how to humble ourselves as we relate to people, and what to do when things are wrong between us.
Not sure why it took me a while to grasp that obvious truth!
Consequently, as we approach parenting with that mindset, and search His Word for help, we find a treasure trove. For instance:
Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Right there, I have enough exhortation to cover a truckload of situations. Kindness is always applicable. Tenderheartedness (empathy and gentleness) evokes a powerful response. This could actually be a lesson in itself but we will leave it as just a point for now. Forgiveness. Mutual forgiveness from parent to child and from child to parent. The application of this verse alone can keep us busy for a long time.
Colossians 3:8-17 - But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who has created him- a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman but Christ is all and in all. And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom, teaching, and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your heart to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
WOW. Look at all the parenting instructions in that passage! In addition to the kindness and forgiveness that are exhorted in the Ephesians verses, what do you see? Some things are called out as prohibited: anger, wrath, lying, abusive speech, favoritism (!), slander and malice. Other things are commanded: compassion, humility, patience, perseverance, peace, gratefulness, LOVE, being full of His Word - the overarching aim of all behavior being done to glorify God in the name of Christ.
That’s a lot of admonition. Not only how we are to treat our children but also what we are to model for them in all our interactions with others.
And that’s just two examples from Scripture. There are a zillion others. Galatians 6:1 and Matthew 7:3-5 tell us how to handle correction. Luke 6:38 and Matthew 6:20-24 tells us what to teach (and model) our children about money. We learn what heroes to have in Psalm 101:6. Proverbs 13:20 and Psalm 1 provide guidance on choosing friends. The importance of a good attitude? Check out Proverbs 15:15 and Philippians 2:14-18.
You get the point. If you long for a great parenting book, dig into God’s Word. There we learn not only how to raise our kids but also what we should model for them so that we are able to say Be imitators of me just as I also am of Christ. I Corinthians 11:1
Amen.