Seems appropriate to repost it on what would have been her 93rd bday. Wow, I love her so much. Miss her increasingly every day.
When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be with my Mama. Memories of my early life all include being close to my Mama. I sat beside her in church, in the car (long before child safety laws!), and at the dinner table. I was right up under her as she cooked; she tells the story of the scar on my hand that came from hot grease splattering from the stove as I was wrapped around her leg, just wanting to be close to her. I am pretty sure she never went to the bathroom alone until I was in middle school. Surely my constant presence must have irritated her but she never let on. Mama was infinitely patient.
Nobody loves you like your Mama.
As I grew up, she became my best friend. Words used to describe her are kind and fun, empathetic and humorous, strong and tender, brilliant and selfless, full of life and mischief…all are accurate but that’s not why I love her. I love her because she loves me.
Nobody loves you like your Mama.
Eventually I had to leave her side and go to college. I guess it never dawned on me that we would have to separate because when she left me in room 313 of Brumby Hall, I was shocked at how my heart was breaking. What i didn’t know then but understand now was that hers was, too.
Nobody loves you like your Mama.
Sometimes the homesickness was overwhelming but we survived by keeping the phone company in business. I had lots of friends and even my tall dark and handsome prince and college was a blast. But still I needed my Mama. When the courses were hard or the good news arrived or the path became uncertain, it was the phone call to Mama that I needed. On the rare chance that my dear Daddy answered the phone, he knew he was ill equipped to dispense the magic I needed at the moment and would quickly get the phone to her. He knew just like I knew…
Nobody loves you like your Mama.
The years went by and I married that tall, dark handsome prince and somehow God decided we could be trusted with four amazing kids. Surely by now I was grown up enough to BE the Mom instead of NEED my Mom but the opposite was true. I needed her more than ever. We talked every day (and I do mean that literally- every day). Mama was interested in all parts of my life - not only the big important things but especially the minutiae like what I was cooking for dinner, if I bought a new dress, and what new skills her grandchildren had mastered. To her, those were the big important things. Because they mattered to me.
Nobody loves you like your Mama.
I have never deserved her love but that has never mattered to her. She loves me because she loves me. It’s just her nature. In fact, the only anger she’s ever had, the only enemies she’s ever made were people who wronged her kids. Or her grandkids. And don’t even get me started on her great grandkids….
Nobody loves me like my Mama.
Several years ago, my tall dark handsome prince and I moved my parents in to live with us. We said it was so we could take care of them but we all knew better than that. It was because I needed to be close to my Mama. She cooked cornbread and sausage balls and zipper peas for me, whatever she could do to help lighten my load. Since my Daddy died, she has persisted in being interested in all the details of my life. And then share the glories of her grandkids with her friends!
Nobody loves me like my Mama.
I am not only a Mom now but also a grandmother myself and still I need to be close to my Mom. This past week, I sat by her side for five days in the ICU. Our talking moments were much fewer but I still needed to be by her side. On the rare occasion that I left her side, upon my return the nurse would tell me that Mama got agitated when I left. That she was anxious unless I was there. That she needed me to be with her. I didn’t correct that nurse because she was certainly doing a great job and knew way more medical stuff than I do. But she was wrong about that one thing. Mama’s agitation wasn’t because she needed me by her side - no,it was because she knew I needed to be by hers . Mama knew my heart would be more peaceful and content if I were with her and knowing I might be anxious apart from her made her anxious. My Mama knows better than anybody that Nobody loves you like your Mama. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t explain that to that sweet nurse when I stepped away!
Wednesday morning, my brother on one side and I on the other, held her close one last time. Each of us was stunned that our Queen of Hearts was going to leave and neither of us can yet fathom how we are going to survive without her.
Because nobody loves you like your Mama.
Our Queen of Hearts has joined her King…and her king. She is where she has longed to be since October 9, 2015. I have recoiled in dread at the thought of this day for as long as I can remember. How can I ever live without her? Nobody loves me like my Mama.
I ponder. And I cry. I know the depths of pain are because I know I will miss her love. How am I ever going to function without her?
In the midst of tears, a whisper comes to me. Yes, it is true she is gone. And yes, it is true that Nobody on Earth loves you like your Mama. But the message comes clearly.
Mama’s love is so strong, so pure, so eternal that even death can’t touch it. I will always have it. She will always be with me.
And, as impossible as it is to believe, even stronger than my Mama’s love for me, even more than my Daddy’s love for me, is that of my Heavenly Father. Praising Him for letting me belong to these parents. For blessing me with them. Rejoicing that HE is always with me and that HE never fails and that HIS love is truly perfect.
And that He gave me the closest thing on Earth to His perfect love….my Mama.
Nobody loves me like my Mama.