Yesterday we looked at the double-barreled weapon of praying God's Word. If you haven't already checked out the link to Scripture prayers here on the blog, please do so. Or make your own set. God has made available to you and me this potent resource, capable of moving mountains of rebellion, prejudice, greed, unforgiveness, and insecurity. The weapon with the potential to unleash torrents of love and joy and peace, of reconciliation and health and confidence, of changed hearts and mended marriages and secure children. The tool for all Christ-followers. He just says ask.
For us girlfriends, He gives us something else powerful, too. More of a tool than a weapon. A tool more effective than the strongest bully or the greatest orator...and especially more so than the most manipulative personality.
Like many of God's choices, it seems like a paradox. Counterintuitive. Like it couldn't possibly work.
But God tells us wives the way to persuade the hubs - even one who doesn't follow God's Word - is not to better explain our point of view. Nor to cry or freeze him out or pitch a fit. Not even to get him to read the right books or listen to the right podcasts or join a men's group.
Rather it is
Without a word.
No way! Really?
Yep, the most effective way for a wife to change her husband is to not open her mouth in an effort to bring about that change. But rather to treat him with respect.
Well, I'll be!
Here's how God says it:
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. I Peter 3:1,2
In this verse, "likewise" refers to the preceding verses where Peter lifts up Christ as our example in suffering. He didn't return insults or threats to those who mistreated Him. He didn't insist on His rights as God. Instead, He trusted God to unfold His plan and He submitted Himself to that plan...which included suffering to the point of death.
That's our example as wives. When we feel our husband is wrong and we want to "help" him be right, our recourse is not to badger or argue or pout. It is instead to pray and wait...and to treat him with respect and kindness in the process.
Wow. That's a most unusual tactic.
Only God!
And a few verses later, God has Brother Peter give us an example of success...
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Sarah. Listed in the book of Hebrews' Hall of Faith. (chapter 11, verse 12)
She faced intensely painful personal disappointment.
She was put in places of fear and abuse because of Abraham's cowardice
She waited a long long time to see God act on His promise to her husband.
And, yes, she made some mistakes herself along the way, but the record of Scripture highlights not her physical beauty (although that was noted in Genesis) but rather her respectful behavior towards her husband and her courage because she trusted God's sovereign rule in her life.
Don't miss this!
In the midst of personal pain and her husband's failures, Sarah responded with respect and gentleness. She trusted God to accomplish good for her in spite of all around her that seemed to the contrary. The word used for "lord" in verse 6 is a Greek word which actually means "agent for good". Sarah could submit to her husband not because she trusted Abraham's character and wisdom but rather because she trusted her God to use even a disobedient husband to bring about good for her! She trusted Him to use circumstances (and people) that seemed harmful and opposed to God's best to be instruments of blessing because she knew all was in the hands of the Divine Alchemist. Instead of fretting or fearing or fussing, Sarah could respond with respect...because she trusted God.
Word to the wise wives....Trust God and treat hubs with respect.
That opens the path for God to work His plan. And His plans are always good. Always loving. Always faithful.
Girl Power!!!